27 February 2012 ~ 4 Comments

What Really Matters

I really liked the way this chapter got practical.  While some of this stuff they talked about seems really simple things many families already do (creating rituals at Christmas, for example), seeing those items as important parts of faith development is very good information.

I am struck that many of our families, including my own, would be hard pressed to find the kind of whole family friendships/community that is described in the chapter.  As part of confirmation at Saint Michael families are asked to find a mentor for their sixth grader, and many families have a hard time coming up with the right person.  I think the kind of community described in the chapter is extremely rare in our culture (though I am aware of a few instances of this type of community).

I also liked the way that the authors approached many of the challenges of parenting, including focusing to much on the results of academics/sports.  Both of the authors are the typical “type A” high achievers, and seem to have a healthy approach to their own identity and therefore can write about their child’s identity and activities with a high level of differentiation (knowing where they end and the other begins, while remaining closely connected).

What practical findings/suggestions stuck out to you?

I’ve copied the headings from this chapter, since it basically a good outline of what they said.


Sticky Findings

Identity Formation Is Affected By Brain Development

Identity Formation Is A Long And Winding Process

Students Often Shelve Their Faith For A Time

Sticky Faith Made Practical

Remember Youth Child Is God’s Beloved Creation

Treat Each Child As An Individual

Use Your Community To Develop Personal Identity

Use Rituals To Reinforce Identity

Help Your Child Grow Through Hardship

Use Extracurricular Activities To Explore Identity

Affirm Character Growth More Than Academic Achievement

Model A Relationship With God


Finally, I want to thank you for sharing highs and lows.  It helped me feel a little more connected to you.

4 Responses to “What Really Matters”